Stop Telling Me I'm Pretty

I've been spending a lot of time on OKCupid lately, in an effort to get over my ex and remind myself that there are good men out there.

Sadly, this hasn't been the most successful of endeavours.

Online dating has left me incredibly jaded.

Seriously gentlemen... Stop calling me pretty. I get that you like the picture I put up. Yes, it is me. But that isn't everyday me, that is my best face. That's what I look like after half an hour of effort with make-up.

That's just the hook. What I want you to notice is my personality. I want you to notice that I write, that I go on adventures, that I'm happy with who I am, despite being a little too fat and sometimes kinda lazy.

You say I'm pretty, and you reduce me to nothing more than a masturbatory aid. And I feel... I feel like I will be rendered obsolete to you the minute you discover that I'm fatter and uglier than I look in my profile picture because I take really good pictures and am kinda good at make-up, even though I tell you that in my summary. Or worse, that I will become obsolete somewhere down the road, when you notice that I begin to sag and wrinkle.

And I don't know that that isn't accurate.

Yes, I'm pretty. Sometimes. And I like to look good, because I like myself. But that is the absolute least thing you could mention as an opener.

Ask me about who I am. Ask me about what I do. But don't tell me I'm pretty. We both already know you think I'm reasonably attractive, else you wouldn't have bothered to message me.

And when you call me pretty, I know that you are either supremely unimaginative, or you are pretty goddamn shallow. And why would an intelligent, self-assured, independent woman like myself want a shallow unimaginative man like yourself?

Did you ever get that far? Did you ever think that maybe you should be trying to prove yourself worthy of me, rather than tossing out a token compliment like a rich nobleman offering a trifle to a beggar in the street?

I am worth more than that.

Don't call me pretty. Don't start with that.

It is NOT what I want to hear. It is not what any of us really want to hear.

What we want to hear is that we are useful. That we are worthy. That we are interesting. That we have value. More value than the same word you'd use to describe a ten cent scrap of lace.